Myth of me

I'm not a gifted writer or gifted at much else. What I am is blessed with a lot of great people and loves of my life. But within all that love I've realized that it’s too hard to be everything to everyone. My myth of myself has been severely rocked and nearly wiped out of existence thanks to an unsettling time with in my beloved California. Work is going unevenly as well but at least that has an end date, this other unsettled time does not at all seem to have any end date. I'm hoping one day to be able to rewrite my myth of myself but I'm not going to have time to do that for a good while.

Things are changing so fast I wish I could catch up and make the best decisions although I know there are consequences for all our choices. I'm hoping I got all my organizing and politicking out of me so I can focus on making some grub so I can take care of my little pilli. I think going back to Phoenix makes the most sense but the consequences are riff with peril. Staying in California is a very selfish notion for the myth of me and I've come to understand that especially after finding out home is an artificial construct. I've always thought myself quite talented at making a safe place for myself in spite of the difficult environment around me but that talent has either run out or finally eludes me. My patience’s has come to its end and this myth that I'm a patience person is wearing thin to me and frankly it worries me what I am left with without my patients. But inspite of it all I think there is hope somewhere in all this stress and confusion, there has to be especially after 5 years of feeling lost I'm ready to get on my game on. To all those that care don't dispare just ask me how I'm doing when I turn 26 in November. We'll see where the myth stand because as all good tall tales they sometime need to be revised to be made better.